


May all your dreaming fill the empty sky

by gunpowderkillerqueen



Series: Only the good die young [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, Hurt/Comfort, No Angst, but not happy either, hardly anything happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27762832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunpowderkillerqueen/pseuds/gunpowderkillerqueen
Summary: Levi and Hange have a talk in the forest.
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Series: Only the good die young [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030944
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	May all your dreaming fill the empty sky

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in Chapter 126.  
> The title it's from Let There Be Love by Oasis.

Levi was opening his eyes again, the pain welcomed him into his bandaged body with two fingers missing. It was still dark and the air getting colder every time he opened his goddamn eyes. But he was alive, at least.

He doesn’t know how much has passed since the last time he woke up. With the vision of Eren, everything felt mixed up. But there was also Hange in the middle of all that. He noticed her silent figure sitting next to him, sending a wave of calmness through his chest. With her hands on her knees, lost looking at the trees thinking about who knows what.

Levi didn’t really remember what happened. His last memory was of a half-dead Zeke then the water soaking and drowning him, her hands pressuring on his chest forcing him to react. He vaguely remembers her voice, frantic, and is almost sure he heard her cry.

He was lucky that she found him, that’s for sure.

Now looking at her once again, she looked... empty. He knew her well; she was always running, researching, reading or writing something. But now everything revolved around her duty. Her duty to lead the legion, her duty to design a plan, her duty to fix everything that happened at all times. They say heavy is the head that wears the crown, and that has never made as much sense as it does today.

He couldn’t help but feel guilty of the burden he put on her shoulders after letting Erwin die. Even when Hange always told him that his decision was for the best, the shadow of guilt was always there, lurking. But she carried the role like no one else. Despite her doubts and all the things she had to leave behind, she kept trying.

It was also obvious how exhausted she was with this whole situation, so it wasn’t a surprise that she wanted to escape and live far away in the forest.

Hange had always had this special light in her, a magnetic glow that illuminated him no matter how much he resisted, so watching her smile fade away always ended up with the same effect on him.

Yet he was relieved to see her again, he always was.

“Why are you so quiet?” he finally asked, startling her. “You haven’t moved in an hour.”

She looked at him with a frown. “Why aren’t you sleeping?

“I can’t sleep all day, you know.”

Hange smiled weakly, looking down and scratching her head. She didn’t feel like talking, but Levi refused to endure any more silence. He wanted to hear her talk about anything and wasn’t ashamed to admit that her voice kept him sane in those recent moments of profound pain. He just missed her voice.

“You should,” she answered with the same smile.

“So?”

“I’m just thinking on how to fix this mess.”

“You still thinking about living in the forest?

Her cheeks flushed slightly, glancing into the wood. “Can you please forget about that? I didn’t even notice you were listening.” Of course he wouldn’t forget it, but it was nice anyway, to watch him feel better and not so deathlike. “This plan has been nothing but mistake after mistake. I was really hoping we would achieve something, but everything has fallen apart.”

“Hange, there wasn’t much more you could do, especially with Eren. No one can control that brat, not even himself.”

“The only thing he knows is how to make trouble. And we were lucky to escape from Floch, he lost his mind...” She sighed. “Still, look where my hope got us, Levi.”

Her voice carried all her guilt, her weariness, her anger, everything. She felt more responsible than she should have, but he knew her position wasn’t easy, with all those eyes over her watching every move. But the expectations and pressures were eating her up like worms in a corpse.

Hange had her hands tied behind her back and had never felt so helpless. Questioning every decision she took, remembering every mistake they made. Did anything make sense anymore? No, it didn’t. And the amount of shit that was going on at the same time was exasperating, and also the amount of assholes that crossed their path who weren’t doing them any favors.

Like Zeke. He was useful at one point, but then he became a pest or more like a mistake. And the mere thought of it was giving him a headache.

“No… I should have killed him back then,” he lamented, “I have to fucking kill him this time. I promised him.”

She gazed at him in silence, and he didn’t look back at her, immersed in his own share of guilt **.** All he wanted was to keep his promise to Erwin, and he wasn’t going to stop until he succeeded.

“What do you think Erwin would do in this situation?

“I don’t know, most of the time he’d let his eyebrows do the talking.”

A slight but heartfelt laugh left her lips. That laugh he missed all the time, and now more than ever. It was hers and hers alone.

“I still miss his eyebrows... Remember when he lost his hair comb and freaked out?”

“Yeah...”

“I can’t believe it’s been so long since he left.” Her voice distant and melancholic with her gaze fixed on the ground, glowing from the fire next to them. “I don’t know why Erwin chose me, Levi. I have no idea what I’ve done all these years.”

“Erwin chose you because he knew there was no one who could do it better than you. You have led us, Hange. A hard thing to do given the shitty times we’re in.”

This so self-absorbed incompetence was tormenting and blinding her from the fact that it was her own talent that had taken her so far. Yet the shadow of the former commander was great, it’s always been.

Sure she was aware of what he told her, but it’s not like she had any damn choice to begin with, right? It was a commitment she had to fulfill, that’s why she put things aside, because eventually something had to go right and the efforts would’ve been worth it.

“I only want to know why we are always the ones left behind,” she whispered.

He silently observed her. Hange had seen her closest people vanish and die in front of her, just like Levi. And it didn’t matter how many times they tried to get the blood off their clothes and start over, nothing changed and it was always the two of them. And it’s hard to live like that, with the blame and the fear and everything else.

“I know you didn’t ask for any of this.”

She raised her eyebrow at him, and a sarcastic smile lit up her features.

“Brave to say that for someone who almost died.”

“That’s bullshit, I’m not going to die that easily.”

“Ah,” she laughed, “now you say that, but you looked pretty dead. Scared the shit out of me.”

“It was a mistake. I won’t let it happen again,” he spat back, rough with resentment.

Her smile disappeared, allowing herself to study him meticulously. Her eye scanning his body and his bandages. Cherishing the rise and fall of his chest like a precious memory _._ With no trace of pity in her eyes, just grateful for having him there.

“I don’t care, Levi. I just don’t want you to die, you’re the only thing I have left after all.”

Her voice vanished little by little between her words, leaving him with a bitter sense of emptiness despite her good intentions; He was familiar with this feeling. The frustration and despair of seeing a life slip through your fingers.

“I used to worry that you wouldn’t die because you were a reckless idiot, remember? I wouldn’t leave you. And we can’t leave the brats either.”

_Maybe we should just live here together..._

Oh, of course.

“I know it was selfish of me to think we could simply disappear, but all I wanted was for the world to stop for a second… It’s just that I’m so tired.”

He couldn’t blame her for wanting to escape and leave everything behind, given the current events that only appeared to be getting worse. He did think about it. Having a nice and peaceful house, having a cup of tea with her by his side reading, and then going to sleep with no worries of titans or wars or anything. It was something he could look forward to.

Before he could stop himself, Levi took Hange’s arm with his bandaged hand, pulling slightly on her shirt.

“Rest, then.”

Her eyes widened out of surprise and slowly took his hand, placing hers under his. Cold, like this was the first time she touched him. Resisting the urge to squeeze it to avoid causing him any more harm. And her heart aching in her chest, knowing that he was concerned for her even in his miserable condition because he hated to see her decay.

Without letting go of his hand, she settled to lie down next to him. Her back against the ground, trying to relax her tensed muscles. But she still felt restless, with that knot in the throat choking her. Was it fear or excitement running through her veins? And the stars in the sky observing her, always observing.

He didn’t notice, though. Clinging to her feather-light touch, like he was waiting for something to be born out of it. At least he was there, and that was enough for now.

“We’ll have to move soon, go to sleep.” Her voice was gentle, but he still grunted in response. “Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you wake up,”

Levi remembered those nights when they slept together, only wanting to have someone else by their side, talking and talking until one fell asleep first. Or sometimes when the emotions and thoughts were too much to handle, they relied on the sincere touch of the other. The kisses, the caresses.

It was fascinating getting to know her all over again, craving to see what she saw, to taste what she tasted. Never asking where they wanted to go because those brief moments were sufficient.

No, they weren’t.

But they had no choice other than swallow the words that lingered in their mouths every time, in hopes that they might be able to pronounce them one day.

“I never thanked you for saving me,” he muttered as she brushed the back of his hand with her thumb.

“What are you talking about? You don’t need to thank me for saving your ass.”

“I mean it, Hange. And I meant everything I said.”

“I know, Levi.”

Once again it was just the two of them. The only audible sound was the wind gliding through the trees, bathing in the embracing smell of burnt wood. It was strange how calm everything felt in the middle of nowhere, considering the amount of things they would soon have to deal with.

But it was the end of the world and it was hard to pay attention.

This will be worth it, she thought, this will be worth it.

“Do you think all this will end someday?

“It has to. Then we’ll have our cabin in the woods.”

“Come on.” She rolled her eye and tried to hide the smile growing on her face, not thinking he was being serious. Because in the end it was quite naïve to dream, but aren’t dreams and expectant promises what brings hope in this cruel world? Or are those things what make you a fool?

“This shit is going to get better,” he said.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I told you, Hange. You are the smartest and most stubborn person I have ever met. You are not one to give up easily, we will think of something.”

“You know you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I know.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still not over chapter 132, they should have stayed in the forest tbh.


End file.
